Until Now
by XYNAATHEDARKPRINCESS
Summary: Goku's life isn't what we see it as, he struggles just like the rest of us. He tries to keep it to himself but one person knows, one prince. Will Goku drag Vegeta into his problems or will he hide himself away from any contact.
1. Prologue

I sat under a large tree with my eyes closed and sighed, I was content to sit here all day and rest, but my life wasn't laid back. It was hard work. My wife hated me nowadays and my rival hated me even more than he used to and even more than I though necessary, all because of the incident with Buu. My friends, they were a whole other story, they screamed at me every time we had a get together because I couldn't 'keep in touch'. I mean what can I say?

I'm not a sociable being, I can not just sit there and talk. I have nothing to say anyway, they just laugh at the stupid things I say. I never tell them though, I just sit there and grin like the fool they think I am. It hurts sometimes, It hurts most the time. But I deserve it, after all I hate confrontations. Every time someone apologizes another person laughs and says 'it's Goku, he doesn't mind, I bet he doesn't even know what he did wrong'. Well that hurts the most, knowing that I seem that stupid to them. So what if I accidentally say the wrong number when they ask me a maths question or forget how to spell a word.

I never had an education and they shouldn't belittle me for it, heh I bet they'd be surprised I even knew what that word meant. I wonder what my life would be like if my planet hadn't blown up, I smiled. I could imagine the sounds and scents of exotic fragrances, I could hear my father yelling at me and my brother to stop fighting. I could imagine my father cooing soft words of reassurance as I fell asleep as he went into battle. That's what my life should have been like.

That was all in the pas and I couldn't change it now ... or could I? I had the dragon balls and they could be strong enough for a simple wish like that, couldn't they? If only, I smiled as I thought about trying it and laughed. Laughing was a rare occurrence nowadays and so I felt a little better. Too bad it was only a comforting thought. I shook my head and smiled, Frieza would just destroy the planet again anyway so it was really no use. My smile faded, still imagining all that my life could have been was hard, It made my life pale in comparison and I already hated it, I sighed.

"Dad? You out here?" I heard Gohans voice and I looked up, he was all grown up and he just made me so proud. Just to think I could have created a son as smart and happy as him, he didn't know about my pain, almost no one did only one person. One certain Prince. I shook my head and slowly stood up and forced a smile.  
"H-hey Gohan." I stuttered and my son studied me.

"Are you OK?" he asked concerned, I nodded and forced brightness into my eyes.  
"Yeah, You just scared me is all." I laughed and put my hand behind my head, he smiled and I felt something in my brain go off. My son can't even see behind my fake smile, am I that good and actor? But the thought was washed away as I asked him what he wanted.

"Oh I was just wondering if you could look after pan, me, Videl and mum are going out shoping. Do you have time?" he asked and nodded and hugged him close.  
"Whoa dad, what's the hug for?" he asked returning the embrace.  
"Can't you just accept a hug from your father?" I asked and he nodded. I frowned and hugged him tighter, Gohan was my son and long ago I had made him fend for himself. Seeing him as a man with a steady job and family made me feel as if I could have done more.

"I'll see you later." I replied pulling back and walking to his house.  
"Have fun." I yelled and ran to Gohan's house, I couldn't wait to see Pan. She was another blessing in my life, Well come to think of it all my children were. My wife was but as the years past we began to grow apart, it hurt knowing I couldn't do anything but it was true I couldn't. As soon as I walked in I was attacked and pinned to the floor by Pan.

"Grandpa." she yelled and laughed hugging my tight, I smiled and this time it was real.  
"Wow, you've grown." I laughed and she ran to the door and stood with her back to it.  
"Look, we've been measuring my height. I've grown 5 centimeters." she said happily and I picked her up and she giggled.  
"Well we'll be back later see you Goku." Videl promised and waved.

"Bye." I replied and looked at Pan.  
"The usual?" I asked and she nodded and covered her mouth laughing.  
"The usual." she agreed. I closed my eyes and waited ten seconds before flying out the house in search of her, this was her favorite game, it was like hide and seek but on a bigger scale. I tried not to go too hard on her so I flew slower, and when I was close by she would shoot into the air and fly away as I tried to chase her.

It was fun for both me and her, I stopped when I felt a familiar Ki and sighed turning around.  
"Vegeta leave me alone." I groaned and closed my eyes in annoyance.  
"Kakarott, I need to spar with you." he told me and I growled.  
"I'm playing hide and seek with my granddaughter, can't you just leave me alone?" I asked and he scoffed.  
"A true saiyan should not play hide and go seek with a seven year old." he laughed.

"Well in case you haven't noticed I'm not a true saiyan." I informed him and he laughed.  
"You may not be but I know you can't refuse a good spar." he smirked and I rolled my eyes.  
"I just did, leave me to play with my granddaughter." I almost growled turning around, I was becoming a lot more like Vegeta when I was around Vegeta himself.  
"Don't turn your back on me Kakarott." Vegeta warned and I snapped.

"Stop, leave me alone, I want to spen time with Pan, Can't you just let me have one day to myself. You never help me, you never act like a comrade towards me, why should I help you spar?" I growled and he went to open his mouth but I stopped him.  
"Ans don't give me that, I am the prince of saiyans crap, I won't take it anymore. You have no idea how much I admired you and yet, you show me nothing but hate. It hurts. You were my role model, you were the other of my race and yet you hated me." I panted letting it all out.

I frowned and turned around and looked for Pan leaving a stunned saiyan prince staring after me. I sighed, well he deserved to know, He already knows everything else. I smiled and decided to look on the brighter side and find Pan, she would be waiting for me. After this I would have to go home and start dinner, and when I said start dinner I meant order in.

**_Ahh I didn't want to start a new book but this Idea came to mind and I couldn't stop myself, Help me. Xynaa_**


	2. Comfort In Rivals

Two days passed and there were no signs of prince arrogant, I suppose he must have been shocked by what I had said. I mean a low class admiring him was no big deal for him but having me lash out at him, I mean he knew how bad things were yet I don't think he expected them to be so bad I'd lash out a him. I turned onto my side and smiled, my wife was sleeping peacefully, her hair fell in waves of black velvet. She looked so peaceful and calm.

This was the only time of the day where I was feeling happy, my wife wasn't yelling at me and it seemed as if the world had just shut down for a few hours. I tucked some hair behind her ear and I felt her shuffle under my touch and stir awake.  
"Mmm Goku honey is everything alright?" Chi asked and I smiled and nodded.

"Yeah I just can't sleep, Sorry for waking you." I apologized and kissed her forehead. I heard a scream and crying and I rubbed my forehead.  
"Oh Pan." I whispered and as if right on cue Pan came running in and crying for me.  
"Grandpa." Pan squealed and ran into my arms, I could feel her tears stain my nightshirt and frowned.

"What's the matter?" I asked rubbing her hair as I tried to calm her down.  
"I-I had a nightmare." she sobbed and I frowned closing my eyes and kissing her forehead.  
"shh, it's alright." I whispered soothingly and she calmed down.  
"Pan do you want to sleep with us tonight?" ChiChi asked and Pan nodded curling up in-between the both of us.

"Go to sleep, grandpa Goku's here to protect you." I told her smiling, with that she closed her eyes and fell asleep within minutes.  
"Aww she's so peaceful when she sleeps." Chi mumbled and looked at me lovingly, I hadn't seen a look like that in years.

"Yeah, she's my little princess," I chuckled.  
"And your my lovely queen." I added and kissed Chi before I lay down and tried once again to sleep.

Vegeta's P.O.V.

It was frustrating, why couldn't I sleep? All because I couldn't get what that idiot said out of my head, I took in a deep breath to calm myself. I could feel all the emotions emitting off him, rejection, anger, love? I couldn't be sure of the last one, maybe it was just my imagination running wild as per usual. If only I had the guts to go and see him, I couldn't though, I wouldn't. It would shatter my pride, I couldn't show weakness. He would come running to me, after all I was the only one that knew what he'd been through.

When we fused I got a sense of what he'd been through all his life, I had to say it was fascinating. He had such a different upbringing and I couldn't blame him for becoming what he is today. I rolled over looking at Bulma, her hair had grown longer now, it was halfway down her back. She was getting old but I still loved her and though I would never admit it to her I cherished her.

I wrapped my arm around her bare waist and snuggled up closer to her, she was warm. I smiled, something I do more of nowadays and closed my eyes, I would at least try and sleep. Tomorrow Kakarott would seek me out, I knew he would.

...

I awoke in the morning to the smell of bacon wafting in the air and the sounds of happy voices, I listened closer and noticed Kakarott's voice. So he had come, I waited and another voice chipped in it was his harpy.  
So she had dragged him along, what ever I knew he would want to talk to me soon. I sat up groaning and rubbing my hair, I decided on getting dressed later. I don't mind people seeing my perfect body anyway.

I walked down the stairs and pasted my trademark smirk on my face. I walked past Kakarott's harpy and sat next to Kakarott. He looked at me and smiled, ugh I hated his act, I hated these fake emotions he wore. The sad thing was all his friends didn't notice yet I, his rival, noticed something no one else could see. I had hated him, I had grown to like him over the years but it seemed he still thought I wanted to kill him.

I rolled my eyes and looked over at Bulma as she passed me a plate of bacon, she threw me an annoyed look.  
"Vegeta, get dressed into real clothes, no one wants to see you in your boxers." Bulma almost yelled and I snickered.  
"Please woman, I'm not ashamed of my body." I smirked throwing a look at Kakarott who looked away.

Truth be told I had grown to care for the man, I was not sure why as of yet but I would find out sooner or later.  
"So Kakarott came to spar?" I asked already knowing the answer, he would reply with a yes and while we were training he would break down, I had seen it too many times now.

"Yeah sure why not." He smiled brightly putting his hand behind his head and laughing. I frowned a little knowing only Kakarott had seen it and dug into my meal. I wolfed down my food in a matter of minutes and stood up.  
"I'll be out in a minute, wait for me in the Gravity room." I told Kakarott as I walked past him back to my room.

Having a shower was the time I thought the most, I thought about my past and what I would change if I could go back. It turns out I have a _lot _I would change. Like my approach to Kakarott, maybe if I was a little less arrogant back then I could have gotten him to come to my side. It would have been very different if he did.

I dried my hair and put on some clothes rushing to the Gravity room, I only hope Kakarott wouldn't break today. I needed him to stay strong for me, I stopped, where had that thought come from? I shrugged, oh well it was probably me just worrying. I still don't know why I was worrying for an idiot like him though. I opened the door and closed it behind me as I heard a soft sobbing, I was too late, it must be getting worse.

"Kakarott?" I asked as I advanced on his shaking form, he looked up his eyes watering and his nose red and runny. He looked so vulnerable, so _young _like he hadn't aged a day since the first time I met him.  
"Oh hey Vegeta." He smiled a little and it looked genuine.  
"It's getting worse isn't it?" I asked and he nodded.

"I thought I could handle it, but this morning Chi yelled at me for waking her up. Yet she seemed so sweet last night. She hates me and that isn't the worst part, she said we're getting a divorce." he sobbed and I gulped.  
"Why, she seems so calm." I frowned.  
"She usually is but she isn't behind closed doors. She hits me yells at me and she belittles me in front of everyone. Remember the last capsule corp party?" He asked and I nodded.

Yeah, I remember it, Kakarott's wife had got up on the karaoke stage and asked Kakrott to sing a song with her witch he had. He mispronounced some of the words and she had yelled at him as everyone laughed. They all thought it was just a lovers quarrel but I could see past that. She was telling all the stupid humans about Kakarott's failures as a father and how he had never gone to school so he couldn't even find the square root of nine.

It was one of the worst party's I had been to, I can imagine one of Kakarott's too.  
"I'm so sorry to hear that." I told him honestly and wrapped my arms around him, I wasn't there for the other times you were sad but I'm here now, you don't need to worry when your in my arms. Kakarott hugged me close and buried his face in my chest as I held him.

I felt comfort from the embrace as well, he was warm and he just seemed to fit there in my arms as I cradled him. I'm not sure why but it just felt ... right? Was that the word?

**Whoo next chapter done ^^. Please review. Thank you Xynaa. **


	3. Friendship

Goku's P.O.V.

I froze as he wrapped his arms around me but then returned the embrace sobbing into his chest, they weren't little sobs like an adult, no these were heart wrenching ones. My chest shook violently with each breath and cry I let out, I was just grateful Vegeta was there. Although he hated me it seemed like he was starting to let me in, he let his guard down around me and I appreciated that.

I mean right now if he wanted to he could beat me to a pulp, I was completely and utterly vulnerable, yet he comforted me. I was not sure where this Vegeta had come from but maybe he had listened to my speech the other day and decided to change, maybe he did it because he was becoming fond of me.

Or maybe I was reading too much into things, I would never be able to tell if he liked me or not. I wish I could just end this, end all this pain. I don't have the guts though, ha son Goku brave, what a loud of crap. I got up and forced a smile at Vegeta, it was harder than I thought.

"I better get going, my wife needs me." I forced and turned my back on him.

"When are you going to stop kidding yourself?" Vegeta asked and I turned my head looking at him curiously.

"You can't go back to her, it'll just cause more pain. You know that, so why?" I could feel the annoyance in his voice and I tried hard not to collapse on the floor and beg to stay with him instead.

"I don't know, I guess I've gotten so used to this routine." I admitted honestly and closed my eyes and turned my back on him. I wish he would say something, if only to break the silence. I wanted him to tell me to stay at capsule corp, I knew it was a long shot but I wanted him to tell me everything was going to be fine, that I could stay here. But he never did, and every time something like this happened I hoped too much. My hope would shatter eventually and I will be brought crashing back down to earth, just like always. I was too optimistic and someday that would be my undoing.

"Don't worry Kakarott everything will be alright." Vegeta whispered knowing I would hear it, my heart sped up and I could feel the pounding in my ears. He had said it, he had finally said what I had wanted him to for years. I grinned a real grin and I turned on my heel exiting the gravity chamber. My hopes were higher than ever and I swear nothing could bring me down. I still don't know why the princes actions had such an impact on me, but I would find out. I smiled at Bulma and she returned it with a grin as sly as Vegeta's, only there were pain in her eyes and I could only imagine that ChiChi had told her about our divorce. My mood deflated a little and realized I was 't as immune to the world as I thought I was, without ChiChi where would I go? My question stuck in my head, I was unable to replace it with anything until Bulma spoke.

"ChiChi told me about your ..." She trailed of an I nodded.

"Anyway, she left. Stay with us honey, there are plenty of rooms here, and I'm pretty sure Vegeta would love to have you around." Bulma smiled again and I tried to tug on a smile and it only worked for a small amount of time.

"Thanks Bulma." I muttered as I embraced her, she seemed so small and fragile, just like ChiChi.

"Your welcome sweetie, Oh and your wife left you this." She told me handing me a capsule.

"My wife?" I asked and knew she was referring to Chi.

"Oh sweetie I'm sorry I mean your ex- no ChiChi no- Oh Goku I'm sorry. Please forgive me." She apologized staggering over her words.

"It's OK I know you don't mean it." I smiled timidly and flipped the capsule in my pocket. I walked upstairs and picked a room.

I unpacked with no enthusiasm and sighed sitting down on my new bed, well it has come to this. A life of boredom, abandoned by my family and left to rot in capsule corps. I'm not saying capsule corps is bad it's just, the situation. I was left to rot by my wi- by my ex. It would be hard and I'm not sure if I could move on let alone try to move on. But, I had to for Bulma's sake and also Vegeta, I felt my face heat up as I thought about the prince.

Yes, I admired him, was it something more? I couldn't answer that yet but I had to admit that I felt a stronger bond with him and have ever since we fused when we fought Buu, it seemed to get stronger from then on. I jumped when I heard a knock at my door and sighed in relief as I saw Bulma standing there.

"Sweetie, what do you want for tea? You're our guest so you can pick today." Bulma smiled and walked up to my bed as she sat next to me.  
"I don't know, I'm not in the mood." I muttered.  
"Whoa, Woman there's something wrong with Kakarott. He refuses food." Vegeta said in his usual tone and I looked over at the door, he was standing there casually smirking at me.

"Vegeta stop annoying him go to your room." Bulma told him sternly and I frowned a little, if only she knew how much Vegeta had an effect on me. Maybe she wouldn't tell him to go away.  
"Aww sweetie I'm sorry about his behavior he's just being ... well Vegeta." She laughed and I smiled a little.  
"It's OK Bulma, I'll be fine." I smiled and she returned my grin rubbing my leg as she stood up.

"Well I'll be downstairs, try and eat something. You're a growing saiyan man." she smirked and walked out the door. I lay down on the bed and covered my head with my arm, I was so drained. I just wish I could catch up on my sleep but it was harder than it seemed. I had been having nightmares, I don't think it was normal. It was nightmares of the littlest things.

I had been attacked in my dreams many times by Frieza and twice I had been beaten to a pulp, but that wasn't the worst thing. I had been almost dead on two occasions and on both those occasions he belittled me, he had cut me down to size and made me fear him. I even screamed out each time he had tried to deliver the last blow.

He scared me, yet he never had before so where had this fear come from? That was the question I could never answer, I woke up screaming and waking my wife up, it was all his fault. He had started me and Chi growing apart, it was scary, as if he was haunting me from the grave.

**Tell me what you think please? Oh and I made a small side story for I saved my soulmate, if you like that definitely go and check it out. Xynaa. **


	4. Shatter

Goku's P.O.V.

I'm not sure when I fell asleep but I remember being awoke by being kicked out of bed by none other than Prince 'I'm better than you all'. I groaned and glared at him trying to push myself up, I found I was too tired to do so so I just laid there.  
"Kakarott, get your lazy ass out of bed and get out the room, today you're going to spar with me." Vegeta growled and I sighed.

"What if I don't feel up for it Vegeta?" I asked annoyed as I found the energy to finally get up, I stretched and I cracked my back twisting and turning my hips.  
"Well I could not care less, I don't care what you want." He stated and I looked at him and frowned.  
"You know what Vegeta, it's all about you, you, you, what _you _want, what _you _want to do. it's never about anyone else." I told him and he snorted.

"I am the prince of all saiyans do _not_ talk that way to me ever." He snarled and I rolled my eyes.  
"And that's another thing you and your _'oh I'm the prince of all saiyans, respect me, fear me.' _" I growled imitating his voice.  
"Oh that's it you've gone too far." Vegeta snapped and lashed at me throwing his fist into my stomach and I groaned unprepared for it as I smashed through my bedroom window and onto the front lawn.

I rubbed my head getting back up and I heard the gasps of people walking past on the sidewalk, I narrowed my eyes and jumped up into the air to meet Vegeta.  
"How _dare_ you, I am a guest in this house you do not treat guests like this. Furthermore I will not tolerate your arrogance any longer." I snarled rushing at Vegeta head on.

We met in a flurry of punches and kicks each one more vicious and stronger than the last one, I was pissed and nothing in the world could calm me down now. I was too far gone. I could see Vegeta smirking as he had accomplished his goal of getting me to spar, little does he know I wasn't joking.  
"Oh what's that Kakarott, you can't stand me? Oh I'm _so _offended." Vegeta said and I could hear the fake mocking in his voice.

"Shut it Vegeta or I'll rip your throat out." I shouted punching him square in the face, he smirked and elbowed me on my back right on my spine.  
"Ooh touchy today Kakarott?" He laughed and I picked myself up launching myself back up at him.  
"What do you think, I've been divorced by my wife and kicked out of bed by you. Not to mention I have to stay here for god knows how long. How the fuck do you think I feel?" I swore and instantly felt bad.

I had never swore in my life, I was always usually such a good person but Vegeta had turned me to stone. I was almost as cold as he was although not quite there, I frowned a little and landed giving up as I walked inside capsule corp. Vegeta followed behind me.  
"Kakarott, you know I didn't mean that." Vegeta said trying to sound sorry but I could tell he wasn't, he was just no good at lying.

"I know I know I just ... I just wanna try to carry on with my life but it's harder than I expected." I muttered, I looked at my feet as I walked to the kitchen. I had to find something to eat soon, I was starving. I frowned, I could feel glass stuck in my back from the fall from the window, Ugh I shouldn't have fought Vegeta. Why does he affect me so much, why was he always changing my mood? I closed my eyes and took a deep breath but heard a scream from behind me and looked over to see Bulma.

"G-goku your ..." she trailed off looking at my back and I put on a fake smile  
"Oh, um yeah, me and Vegeta kinda broke a window." I laughed nervously and Bulma came closer looking at my back examining it.  
"Oh, I'm gonna have to take this out before it gets infected." she frowned and I gulped, that meant needles.

"Kakarott won't get 'infected' he's a saiyan, saiyans do not get infected." Vegeta told Bulma as he rolled his eyes.  
"Well I still need to get the glass out Mr egotistical." I smiled at that and laughed a little.  
"Don't laugh at me low-class." Vegeta growled and I smirked.  
"Or what?" I asked and he glared at me.

"Come on Goku, let's go remove that glass." Bulma smiled helping me up and I froze.  
"There's not gonna be any-" I gulped "Needles. Is there?" I asked and she shook her head.  
"Oh sweetie no, I know you hate them." she soothed me and I sighed in relief as I followed her up the stairs and into her lab.

"What caused you and Vegeta to break a window?" she questioned curiously and I frowned.  
"Well he was just being ... well Vegeta." I told her and she nodded, she walked to the cupboards and looked through it for something.  
"Yeah, he's a dick most of the time." she smiled and my lips curled up a little to form a small grin.  
"Why do you love him?" I asked and she stopped her search.

She turned to me with tweezers in her hand and some ointment, she smiled and a look of nostalgia crossed her face.  
"Well, he was just bad. I was drawn to bad guys back then and well, he was the perfect prince." She smiled and motioned for me to take off the remainder of my t-shirt and lie on my stomach.  
"I hated him you could say, I hated his attitude and when I invited him to my house I was hoping I could tame him." she plucked out a piece of glass and another and I flinched as each shard was pulled out.

"It was a test you could say, to see if I could tame a beast like him. If I could I would marry him and if I couldn't I wouldn't. It ended up being the first one, I was so happy I had tamed him, yet he didn't want to marry me, I agreed to that because I knew he loved me." Bulma rambled on and I smiled.  
"So that's why you and Vegeta never got married?" I asked and she nodded.

"Yes, no matter how much I wanted to he refused but I know he loves me witch is all I can ever ask for." She smiled as she pulled out the last piece of glass, I hissed in a breath as she rubbed the ointment on my wounds.  
"I envy you." I mumbled and Bulma froze for a second before she continued rubbing my back.

"Why?" she asked oblivious.  
"Well because you have such a strong relationship without marriage, if me and Chi never married she would have left me long ago." I confessed and Bulma frowned and kissed my forehead.  
"Aww sweetie don't worry love will come for you again, you just have to be patient." Bulma told me and I sat up.

"How patient? I have waited long enough. I miss my sons, I miss my home, I miss my life. Is it too much to ask for that back, I'm earths protector what have I done wrong?" I asked nearly sobbing.  
"Goku, darling, no need to fret it'll all be fine. You'll find love once again and you will have a lovely family. Maybe even more valuable than the one you have now, and you will protect them with all your heart because you are a loving father." she told me and I smiled a little.

"Thanks Bulma." I whispered and sat there as she walked out of the room. I felt Vegeta's energy enter the room and I looked at the floor refusing to meet his eyes as he stared at me.  
"Kakarott, I didn't mean to throw you out the window." Vegeta frowned and I sighed, that was the best apology I was going to get out of him.

"It's OK Vegeta, I forgive you." I told him and I could see his smirk as I looked up into his eyes, so emotionless yet they held a depth of love and apology. Was this the same Vegeta I had seen everyday?

**Thank you all who ever is reading this, I'm glad you took time to read my story and I appreciate it. Please tell me what you thought of this chapter. Xynaa.**


	5. Lying is hard

Goku's P.O.V.

I sat on the operating table in Bulma's lab, I still had yet to leave this room. Vegeta had left long ago but I just couldn't seem to move, it wasn't my injury of course. It was something I couldn't place, I stared at the wall confusion written over my features as I thought about my family. I loved them right? Then why couldn't I admit it, it seemed a part of me knew something that I didn't know. However strange that sounds, but, I felt guilty about something. I brought my thumb up to my mouth and started chewing on the nail. What was I guilty about?

I had done nothing to hurt them, besides my wife divorcing me and that was more hurtful to me then it was to them. I hadn't seen my sons in a while, maybe that was why. I needed to visit them soon, especially Goten. I had seen Gohan just before Chi had signed for a divorce. I sighed, we still had to go to court and set things straight, I didn't want to. I didn't want to be stripped of my husband title, if I was only a hero it was going to be a lonely life. My friends didn't even know me as anything but a great fighter and hero.

They were all selfish, power seeking dumbasses. It was true all of them but Bulma, she was the only one who didn't ridicule me or piont and laugh about the 'boy who never had an education'. She understood me, she was the first friend I had truly had. So what if my teenage years revolved around painting her nails when we got together and listening to her rants about how annoying Yamcha is. It was fun, she told me everything and in return so did I. She didn't know about my pain I kept hidden behind my grin, she didn't know about my anger hidden away from the world. If she did it'd only make her sad, I can't do that to her, I can't burden her with my words.

No, only Prince Vegeta can know about them, he's the only one that needs to know. I hate him yet I indulge in conversations with him, I hate him yet whenever I see him my heart speeds up. He is my rival, yet my friend. I smiled a little just thinking about him, I hated him yet he could bring a grin to my face when I was sad. I hated him for making me feel helpless whenever he entered the room. I closed my eyes and rested my chin on my knees, I was tired and deserved a good rest.

Bulma's P.O.V.

"Vegeta, where do you think you're going?" I asked and grabbed his shirt pulling him to the kitchen. I needed to talk to him, it was vital.

"Vegeta, we need to talk." I told him my voice stern as I glared at him.

"What about this time woman, and don't bring the gravity room into this argument." He growled and sat down at the table.

"I won't, actually this is about Goku." I bit my lip, I loved Goku but he had a way of annoying me at times.

"What about that idiot?" Vegeta sighed.

"Well, I don't want you sparring with him." I said frowning.

"WHAT?" Vegeta yelled and I closed my eyes at the sound.

"Goku's unstable, he's just gotten a divorce. We need to help him with this, I mean if he spars with you there's no imagining what damage he could do." I whispered hearing the pain in my voice.

"A few building isn't much." Vegeta mumbled and I sighed.

"To himself." I clarified and Vegeta laughed, what was wrong with him?

"Saiyans aren't as weak as humans, we don't self harm, we don't try and poison ourselves. One divorce isn't going to kill him." He chuckled.

"It could, you have to remember Goku was brought up as a human, he lives our way." I argued, why couldn't he get it?

"And tell me why I should be worried about that imbecile." Vegeta snarled and I felt the anger boiling up inside of me, I had to get it out.

"BECAUSE YOU LOVE HIM!" I yelled and then covered my mouth, oh crap, well at least it was out now.

He gaped at me and then he growled.

"HOW DARE YOU, I BUST MY ASS TO SAVE THIS WORLD FOR YOU AND FOR MY KIDS AND YOU ACCUSE ME OF LOVING SOMEONE ELSE, LET ALONE ANOTHER MAN!" I covered my ears as he screamed.

"Just admit it." I said calming down.

"No, because I know it's not true." He snapped back.

"It is, I've seen the way you stare at him, it's the same way you used to look at me. Maybe even stronger." I closed my eyes a few tears streaming down my cheeks.

"It isn't, I HATE him." Vegeta said trying to convince himself as he grabbed his hair and pulled, he was denying it but I knew.

"It's true, just admit it." I whispered and Vegeta growled a 'no' and stormed out the room. I sighed and sat down my head in my hands as I closed my eyes tightly, I knew he loved Goku, you can't hide love like that.

"You may hate him but there's a very fine line between love and hate, I know because I hated you and I hated Yamcha." I sobbed talking to no one. I closed my eyes and let my mind wander.

I had been with Vegeta for years and slowly I had seen the love from his eyes dissipate, I had known for a while but I never wanted to admit it. I didn't want to be alone, I needed Vegeta.

I slowly saw that love return but it was only a matter of time before I noticed it wasn't directed at me but at Goku, it had nearly broke my heart. I had tried to hide it since then, I thought the Prince knew but he must be denying it. I don't get it they'd be perfect together.

I sat up bored of thinking and not really in the mood to dwell on old times, I walked into Goku's room to check on him and noticed he wasn't there, hmm strange. I walked to the lab where I had left him and smiled as I saw him slumped down on the bed and snoring, loudly might I add. I walked up to him and pulled the covers over him and watched as he snuggled up with them.

He was like a big kid and I just wanted to snuggle with him but I had work to do, I leaned down and pecked him on the forehead before turning on my heel and heading towards the Gravity room. Ugh, damn Vegeta, he had broken it two days ago and he has been bugging me every hour of the day. He was such a spoilt royal brat.

I looked at my lab coat and frowned, I can't believe I fix things for him. I just wish I could stop caring for him as he has done with me, but ... I just can't. I can't find it in my heart to. I would love him even if he didn't love me back, I don't care if he loves Goku I will always love him as a friend. For him I might become someone he confides in and as for me, well I will forever love him.

I walked past Vegeta's bedroom and he looked at me with a pained look as he walked to me.  
"I don't lo-" I shushed him by wrapping my arms around him.  
"Lying to yourself is hard, It'll be alright." I purred rubbing his hair soothingly, I closed my eyes and let a few tears fall, this is our goodbye, I know now so this is it.

"Vegeta you're free to pursue him." I told him and I felt him hug me back gripping me tightly.  
"I love you." I whispered.  
"I love you too Bulma." He muttered and I smiled.

**A bit of sad mushy stuff, I felt I needed to explain some unknown feelings. Xynaa. **


	6. Lying is hard part 2

Goku's P.O.V.

I missed her, I missed the kids. I missed talking with Videl and Gohan while Pan pulled my hair and laughed , I missed the little things. I missed the way ChiChi would flip her hair when she got angry, the way her brow furrowed. When she fretted over little things like the kids not wearing the right clothes or yelling at Videl saying her shirt was too revealing.

I missed everything, the long night snuggles, the way one warm embrace would make everything better for a while. It never was though, my wife had a dark side I would never admit to anyone else. She was violent, she was abusive, her words stung and so did her strikes. Yes she had hit me a couple of times in public but it was nothing like what she did now.

It was hard and I couldn't fight back, or more precisely I wouldn't. I was too soft, I didn't want anyone else to get hurt. If I told Gohan he wouldn't believe me, or he would say something about her growing old. It was always the same answer 'she'll snap out of it she's just getting old, these things happen dad'. He had said it so many times when I had complained about her cooking too much and her sleeping habits, she had been going to bed a lot earlier.

"Kakarott." A voice pulled me from my thoughts and I sighed looking up, I shifted on my bed the covers crumpling and moving as I tried to sit up.  
"Yes?" I replied looking out my open door at the prince, he hadn't changed since I got here. Of course he had grown soft over the years but he seemed more stuck up with me around. It was as if he was putting on an act.

He seemed more at ease around me though after the fusion we did with Buu, he seemed how do I put it ... Happy? I don't know, he just seemed looser like a weight had been lifted of him. It made me happy, I didn't want Vegeta to go back to being how he was when I first came back from Namek, well more precisely yardrat.

"Come downstairs dinners ready." He mumbled walking past but not before he eyed me a bit, I tilted my head and he glared at me suspiciously.  
"What?" I asked as he slowly moved away and down the stairs.  
"You think he'd answer me after staring at me like that." I mumbled throwing the covers of me and walking out my room going the same way the prince went.

I smiled at Bulma as I reached the kitchen and the smell of food hit me full force, I couldn't control myself as I sat down literally inhaling all the food. It was so damn good, well maybe not as good as my wife's but still pretty tasty. I stopped to a second then started inhaling again. I could stop referring to ChiChi as my wife and it was pitiful, to think someone as strong as me could miss her. Well then again I was earth raised.

"Slow down Goku." Bulma almost shouted panicking and I laughed.  
"Yeah you don't want to choke on a bone, in fact go ahead, stuff it down Kakarott." Vegeta chuckled and I rolled my eyes.  
"You'd like me to just drop dead, only then will you be the strongest on the planet." I joked and Vegeta growled.  
"I will slaughter you." He snapped and I smirked.

"Bring it." I challenged and just like that he snapped. He threw himself at me and I fell to the ground, I felt his weight on me and I could hear the chair break under me. Splinters of pine flew everywhere and I stared at him shocked. Bulma gasped and I hit the floor with a thud as air was knocked out of me.

I closed my eyes on the impact and opened the. A couple of minutes later when all was silent, all besides a steady breathing on top of me. Vegeta glared down at me his eyes glinting with a savageness I never knew he had. My jaw went slack and I opened my mouth not saying anything just staring. Vegeta looked into my eyes and then at my lips and I raised an eyebrow but he eventually got of me.

"I-I should g-get training." I stuttered as he jumped of me, he nodded and I ran of out into the garden. I had never been so happy to see the gravity room in my life. I ran in and closed the door sighing, I collapsed against the back of the door and slid down to the floor. I put my head in my hands and shook my head.

That was the most awkward thing I have ever been through, it felt like I had lay there for ages. What was wrong with me, it seemed like I liked it. I liked being in that position, I shook my head faster. No that can't be right, I don't like Vegeta in t hat way, heck I don't even like guys in that way do I? I frowned and sighed getting up and walking to the gravity machine.

Training would take my mind of it. I smiled and set the gravity to 50 times earths gravity to start off with and smiled as the weight pressed down on me. I threw a couple of punches and kicks and as I got used to the gravity I switched to 100 times. I kept doing this for about 20 minutes until I had finally reached 500 times earths gravity.

I was now sweating and I was out of the game as I switched it up another 50, I stopped and froze as the gravity pushed down further. No it wasn't meant to be this heavy. I groaned as I fell to the floor the gravity crushing me to the ground. I felt vulnerable and I couldn't help myself, what was happening? I had done this heaps and this had never happened to me before.

"WARNING, WARNING, danger get out of gravity room if possible. DANGER,DANGER, calling breifs residence to ensure you're safe. DANGER, WARNING." The machine voice screeched and I covered my ears, wow it was loud. I tried to get up but I was pressed too hard against the floor, damn it.

"GOKU!" I heard Bulma scream and I smiled a little but closed my eyes, no I had to stay awake no matter what. I can't fall asleep now, it would be too dangerous. But then again I've been through danger all my life so I guess it wouldn't hurt. I closed my eyes and waited.

...

Vegeta's P.O.V.

I smirked as Kakarott went to the GR, He was annoying and deserves to be put in his place, especially by me. I huffed and started to walk away but the woman stopped me.  
"What is it?" I growled wanting to go and have a shower.

"You need to talk to him soon." Bulma smiled gently and I laughed.  
"Ha, me talk with Kakarott, how absurd." I chuckled, I knew I couldn't talk to him I was too proud and arrogant.  
"Vegeta, seriously you _need_ to talk to him." She pressed and I rolled my eyes.

"I don't _need_ to do anything, it's you that's making me do it. I don't even want to." I snapped.  
"Vegeta come on you know you want to." She cooed and I sighed.  
"No I don't, now leave it woman." I ended it and walked up the stairs to my room.

I felt Kakarott's power change and I smiled a little, he was becoming stronger but I was too. I would have to challenge him sometime. I stripped down and got in the shower washing my hair, I noticed I thought a lot more in the shower than I used to and it was usually about strange things I would never think about.

Like Kakarott, I thought about him a lot, not in a sexual way but as in me beating him. That sort of way, I had never thought about me and Kakarott ever being lovers or sexual partners but now that Bulma had brought it up that I like him I can't stop, it's weird I know. I used to only think of him as an enemy but now I think of him as more.

Maybe a comrade, but definitely not a lover. Ever since out fusion I had felt closer to him, like I knew him better or something. I knew it was a bit different but I did. I had gained his memories and in return he had gained mine. We knew each other better than our own wives. So if I knew him so well why did Bulma assume I love him?

I didn't, I mean surely I wouldn't sink that low ... would I? Was I truly lying to myself, or was Bulma just playing games with me? Nah she wouldn't I knew she loved me even if I didn't feel the same, I wish I did love her as much but I truly didn't. I couldn't make myself love her it was impossible.

I stopped thinking as I felt a spike in energy and groaned, it was the gravity machine. What had Kakarott done now? I shut of the shower and dried as quick as I could throwing on some trackies as I raced downstairs.

"Bulma Kakarott i-"  
"I know." Bulma said hurriedly and rushed out the door to the gravity room with me following behind.  
"Will he be alright?" I asked for some reason concerned.

"Yeah, he's as strong as you." she complimented and I smiled a little, I frowned as I opened the door. Kakarott lay there his eyes closed and I felt my heart stop, was he dead? No he couldn't be, I waited for a pulse ... no such luck.

**Wow I didn't expect this story to take a turn like this, I kinda just let my hands do the typing I was surprised with what I had written. I watched dragon ball z battle of gods or as other people call it kami to kami and I couldn't help but think of how much Vegeta loved Bulma, this story is kind of the opposite, he wants to love her but simply can't. Well hope you enjoyed. Please review if you wouldn't mind. Xynaa.**


	7. Choking on words

Vegeta's P.O.V.

I growled when I didn't feel a pulse and put my hands on his chest and pressed down where his heart was and kept going.  
"That won't do, give him mouth to mouth resuscitation." Bulma almost yelled and I looked at her confused.  
"What the _hell _is that?" I shouted back.

"You open his mouth and check his airways and then you press on his chest a couple of times and breathe into his lungs." She yelled and I raised an eyebrow.  
"Oh for fuck sake just do it I'll go call a doctor." She yelled running back in the house, I looked back at Kakarott and then sighed.  
"Fuck it seems all I do is save you but I'm built to destroy you." I snarled but pushed on his chest.

I prepared myself and put my mouth to his and blew my breath into him, _how the fuck are his lips so soft? _I pushed on his chest another three times and blew into him again. To my relief he gasped and his heart started beating, thank kami. I looked at his unconscious form and sighed,_ I'm not in love with him, I'm not. _I closed my eyes and sat there waiting for Bulma.

Why was she so sure that I loved Kakarott, I mean have never loved anyone, I wouldn't even know what it feels like. I mean sure Bulma and I were together but I didn't _love _her, I never did. I needed to relieve myself and I had sex with her to relieve that need and it worked, but _love _that was too far. I don't even know why humans bother with love, it just got you hurt like Kakarott.

I looked towards him and frowned, that harpy had just divorced him and he was going through a breakdown. It was all his fault though, he had trusted her. I shook my head as Bulma came and she smiled a little.  
"Vegeta turn of the gravity so I can at least enter." she scolded and I nodded, somehow I had totally forgot about that. I switched it off and she walked in.

"How is he?" she asked softly and I shrugged my shoulders, how was I supposed to know?  
"I guess we'll find out soon enough." I muttered and she rubbed my arm.  
"Did you panic when you felt his power go down?" She questioned and I sighed.  
"Not really, no." I told her and she smirked.

"Come on I know you did, well anyway that's how you know you're in love." She smiled and I rolled my eyes.  
"Your still going on about this?" I groaned.  
"Vegeta, I've known Goku since I was a kid and well, I know he loves you back. He just hasn't figured it out himself yet. So when he does try to make a move." I growled and then snapped.

"I do not love him, get of my case. I don't care if he loves me but I _hate _him." I screamed and I felt Kakarott stir behind me.  
"Why?" I heard a whispered reply and I looked back at an awake Kakarott.  
"Why wouldn't I hate you, your too happy, your naïve, you're an idiot, the list goes on. Would you like to hear more?" I smirked and he stood up, I could tell it took a lot of effort by the way he was standing.

"No, I'm fine." he said sadly and smiled at Bulma as he limped past her and out of the gravity room.  
"Now look what you've done, you know Vegeta you are really selfish. You don't care what you say and you refuse to love. You are the most egotistical, selfish moron I have ever met." She snarled and rushed after him.

"Goku wait." She yelled and I shut the door, damn them, why must they always affect me? Why must they always get in the way. Why did Kakarott have to wake up then? I sighed and closed my eyes falling to my knees. Why did nothing go my way? I felt something twisting in my stomach and I groaned, could this be what they call guilt? I guess I'd never be sure.

I sat there for hours thinking, about me, about my old life and about Kakarott. I decided to get up and see if supper was ready that would put my mind of Kakarott for a while. I smiled when I smelt soup, mmm something simple. When I walked in Kakarott had a bandage wrapped around his chest and around his leg.  
"Hn. Why didn't you eat a senzu." I grunted and Kakarott narrowed his eyes at me.

"There were none." he said in an icy tone and I stared at him, he seemed really pissed.  
"Oh, Then why didn't Dende heal you?" I retorted.  
"He went to train with Piccolo, just leave me alone." He growled and walked out the room.  
"What's up with him?" I asked annoyed a little.

"Oh you are such a prick. He's upset." Bulma squealed.  
"Oh just because I said I hated him?" I laughed at that, Kakarott had never been this bad.  
"What do you expect, his wife left him and now your there telling him he's worthless and you hate him." Bulma told me in a tone which would make it seem obvious.

"I never used worthless." I defended and she snorted.  
"I'm sure you have at one time in your life." She yelled and I rolled my eyes grabbing a huge bowl and pouring soup into it.  
"Sure sure I'm the bad guy." I said sarcastically and she glared at me.  
"I know you are." she screamed but I was already out the door.

I ate my soup on the roof and finished just before sunset so I took it in and then came back to watch. The sunset reminded me of my home planet, how the colours would merge together and make the reds and oranges. I loved it, but at the same time it made me feel a little homesick. I rested my chin on my knees and looked down, hmmm Kakarott was out on his balcony.

I jumped up and landed behind him.  
"I'm not in the mood Vegeta." he sighed and I walked towards him and stood next to him, he looked so lost, had he always looked like this?  
"Don't worry I'm not here to pester you, I come in terms of peace." I smiled holding my hands up and he sighed.

"Fine just ... tell me why." he stated and I tilted my head, what the hell did he mean?  
"What do you mean _tell you why_?"  
"I want to know why you hate me." He whispered and looked at me I could see the pain evident in his eyes. For once I was speechless, his eyes held me captive and I stared into them for god knows how long but I knew then I really saw him.

I saw exactly what he was going through, I saw his pain, his pride and his love.  
"I don't know." I muttered and he frowned.  
"What do you mean you don't know, you have to know why you hate me." he sighed and I shook my head.  
"I guess, I guess I just hated you because you were better." I told him honestly.

"Better? What at?"  
"Everything." I replied looking down.  
"You beat me in every fight, every game, you were the favorite you still are. Everyone loves you _son Goku the mightiest hero _no one ever though of Vegeta the Prince of all saiyans." I looked up into his eyes again.

"Except you, you knew how I felt, you felt it too. A tug, we were the last of our race and so of course we felt we needed to help one another and you did. You helped me become tame, I hated that, I hated that you could do that to me. I had to make a stand but no matter what you didn't care, you made me your comrade no matter what I did. You were one of the first people to truly except me for something other than power." I finished and Kakarott looked at me with wide eyes.

"Vegeta I never knew." He smiled and before I had time to move he wrapped my in a tight embrace, I felt my face heating up and I growled.  
"Get off me Baka." I snapped and he laughed.

**Woo another chapter up. ^^ I hope you're all enjoying this fic please review I would truly appreciate it. Xynaa. **


	8. Tails of love

Goku's P.O.V.

I smiled over at Vegeta and he rolled his eyes, it had been a week since I had almost died ... again. Vegeta wasn't in the best of moods today, he seemed irritated and annoyed at something. I looked down at the crossword I was doing. Bulma had given me a small book of puzzles and said it would help increase my intellect. Whatever the hell that means, I just rolled with it because it passed the time.

Considering Vegeta was forcing me to spar with him more often it was a good escape, it helped me think of something else for a while and I was getting better at them. It helped if I wasn't distracted so I did at least one before supper everyday, I had needed something to keep me distracted because ChiChi had come around a lot to speak with Bulma and discuss our divorce.

I really wasn't in the mood when she came and she could see that yet she always insisted on annoying me with her damn bickering with Vegeta, she was doing it just to get on my nerves and it was working. I heard the door open and I sighed hearing Bulma greet Chi Chi.  
"Well I think it's really nice how you two are staying friends considering all that's going on." Bulma smiled as Chi Chi sat next to me and looked at me circling the word 'egotistical'.

"Wow, you've got Goku doing crossword?" Chi asked smiling and I looked at her finally acknowledging her presence, I smiled and continued on with my book looking for the word 'ironic'.  
"How are you Goku?" Chi queried.  
"I'm fine, how about you?" I replied politely and she smiled.  
"I'm good, it's lonely at home though with all the ..." I zoned out as she ranted on and on and I circled a few more words.

Chi stayed for dinner and complimented on the food and I wolfed it down in five minutes and then stood up.  
"May I be excused?" I asked Bulma knowing Chi would be impressed by my table manners, that was besides the point I needed a shower. I waltzed up to my bedroom and stripped making my way to the bathroom, it smelt like me now, yes I could tell what I smelt like. It was a sweet smell of strawberries and cherries. I'm not sure when I had first realized that it was my scent but I guess a saiyan always knows.

I turned on the shower and got in and shivered at the cold but then got used to it as the water turned from cold to warm. I smiled and closed my eyes, it was so relaxing and I could just sleep here but I knew I had to get changed and go and say goodbye to my soon to be ex-wife. Gods it was exasperating when ever she was here, it irritated me to no end.

I stepped out of the shower and towel dried my hair, I hated not being able to relax but it wasn't my fault. I just always had something to do and it frustrated me, it annoyed me, it drove me insane. I threw on some spandex shorts Bulma had made for me and made my way downstairs, I grabbed a tight white t-shirt and was back in the kitchen.  
"Well I must be going, bye Bulma goodbye Goku." She smiled and I could tell it was fake, Bulma on the other hand couldn't.

I smiled and walked to the GR, I knew I'd find Vegeta in there. I groaned and fell to the floor as I felt pain hit my spine, Bulma rushed to me and helped me up.  
"What's wrong?" she asked and I shook my head.  
"I don't know." I muttered and got up.  
"My legs must have just gave out." I told her and she looked at me concerned.

"Goku, be careful." She told me as I walked to the GR, I nodded and smiled, she smiled back reassured and I looked ahead. I heard the grunts and groans coming out of the gravity room and I sighed.  
The prince was really working hard this time, I smiled and opened the door. He was always training and he refused to come out, it was almost like he couldn't bear the thought of leaving his sacred place.

"Hey Vegeta." I smiled and let go of the door. I walked towards him and he stopped and huffed.  
"Kakarott." he acknowledged me and I nodded. His arrogant attitude sometimes annoyed me but not all the time ... just most of the time.

My legs gave out again and I coiled over in pain, I hissed and panted as my body had a spasm and I felt something inside my skin trying to pierce it's way out.  
It was right where my spine was and it killed, it split my skin and I screamed. Vegeta's eyes widened and I looked down, my tail lay there covered in blood and my back was killing me.

"Go get Bulma." I gasped and he nodded, I felt myself drifting but I had to wait until Vegeta was back with Bulma.  
"His tail!?" Bulma gasped and I closed my eyes my head hitting the ground with a thump as my tail twitche uncontrollably.

...

I woke up late at night and I looked over at my bedside at Vegeta, he frowned and I tried to get up.  
"Don't bother, you won't be able to move for a while." he informed me and I nodded.  
"What happened?" I asked my lower back hurting, I couldn't remember a thing.  
"Your tail grew back, it was only a matter of time. You needed it to grow back because you left your wife." He told me and I frowned, that didn't make sense.

"Wait, what?" I questioned and he sighed.  
"You need your tail to grow back in order to find a mate, seeing as you left your wife it was only a matter of time." he clarified and I nodded.  
"Oh that ... makes sense?" I said but it sounded more like a question.

"So, I have my tail back huh? What about you?" I inquired and he tilted his head.  
"What do you mean?" His reply wasn't one I expected, how could the prince not understand what I had asked?  
"You left Bulma about two weeks ago, why isn't your tail back?" I asked confused about everything.  
"It needs to be longer, you and your wife started to grow apart at the start of this year so of course it had to come back soon. But me and Bulma have only started to grow apart, so it'll still be awhile for me." He smiled a little.

"Hey, Vegeta if you don't mind me asking why did you and Bulma break up? You seemed fine until I came, I can't help but think it's my fault." I murmured.  
"We just grew apart, it was long before you came into the picture. It has nothing to do with you don't worry." but I couldn't help but feel he was lying to me.  
"OK, that's good then." I whispered and looked at his boots.

The silence that descended wasn't awkward, I welcomed it, it had been a while since me and Vegeta had been in the same room with each other without snapping at each other. Well he usually started it, but that was besides the point. Vegeta stared at me as if he was contemplating something but I couldn't be sure because it was dark. Before long I felt myself needing sleep and I gave into it, as I lay there half in the dream world and half in reality I felt lips press to my forehead and I smiled and fell into worry-less dreams.

...

I woke up early in the morning and struggled to get out of bed, my tail felt so strange and I couldn't keep balanced so I had to hold onto everything. I passed Vegeta who just smirked and said something about a low class needing guidance, I glared at him and he laughed.  
"Goku, do you need help?" Bulma asked and I nodded.

"Man, Chi is gonna freak when she sees this and she'll probably complain about me being even more alien." I smiled and laughed, I would love to see Chi Chi's reaction to this.  
"Well she's coming early this morning and then we're going shopping so you can show her then." Bulma told me and I nodded.  
"Sure, I just hope I can find my balance soon." I chuckled.

I sat down on a stool in the table and let my tail swing behind me. I heard the door open as I was passed a bowl of cereal and I looked behind me.  
"Oh hey Chi.' I smiled and she stared at my tail. I dug into my breakfast and I heard a strangled gasp, oh crap here it comes, I covered my ears.

"YOUR TAIL, IT'S BACK. GET HIM AWAY FROM ME!" Chi Chi yelled and I smirked shoveling down my food, I can't believe how loud she was in the morning ... well actually I could, after all I had lived with her half my life.  
"I'm keeping it Chi.' I told her swinging around and smiling.

"It puts the whole earth in danger." she barked and I rolled my eyes.  
"I can control myself." I told her and she babbled on and on so I just ignored her.  
Bulma finally got her to calm down and I stood up walking upstairs to get changed, I had a sparring session to get to. I'd have to beware of my surroundings this time though because I had a tail, and my tail was untrained.

I threw on one of my Gi's and poked a hole in the back for my tail, I smiled it felt so good having my tail back, I was glad to have it back. It gave me comfort knowing that I always had something to remind me of my home planet. Vegeta was waiting in the front yard and I put my hand behind my head and laughed as I walked towards him.  
"Be gentle OK?" I asked.

"Hn." He replied and I raised an eyebrow.  
"Let's do this." He smirked and I nodded, I blasted up into the air and we met in a flurry of kicks and punches as we battered each other senseless. He kicked me in the stomach but I returned it with a roundhouse kick to his head.

I sucked in a breath as he fell to the floor but then regained his composure, he soared up and I looked around not seeing him, crap. I couldn't even sense his Ki, what was this? I growled and I felt him kick me into the air and then he punched me in the face. My nose split and I hissed as I felt the blood running down my chin.  
"You'll pay for that." I snapped in a rough voice that didn't sound like it belonged to me.

"Ka" I charged up my attack and smiled. "me ... ha ... me." I gathered up the rest of my Ki and aimed.  
"HA!" I let out a large blast of energy and it engulfed him, I smirked. He was mine now. I laughed but I wasn't that lucky. He escaped and I didn't notice until he was behind me and had a firm grip on my tail. He squeezed and I groaned.

I fell to the floor and Vegeta smirked, he had won. He knew it and it made him cocky.  
"Vegeta, please stop." I moaned out.  
"Not until you admit I have won." He told me and I rolled my eyes but was met with another wave of pain.  
"Ok OK you win." I told him and he let go.

"Just joking." I laughed and pinned Vegeta to the ground, he wasn't amused and so he grabbed my tail and I fell weak as he pinned me instead.  
"I always win." Vegeta growled his face was so close to mine and I could taste his breath.  
"Not always." I whispered and he nodded.

"Always." He whispered and pressed his lips to mine, I froze in shock but then responded pressing my lips back. He grasped my tail and I gasped allowing his to slip his tongue in my mouth. I closed my eyes and intertwined my fingers in his hair pulling him closer, I was craving more and more of his contact. I totally forgot about my broken nose for a second and just indulged in something that seemed right at the time .. but was it right?

**Sorry I haven't updated in ages so here's an extra long chapter. Hope you enjoyed it I loved feedback. Xynaa**


	9. Realization

Goku's P.O.V.

I looked up at Vegeta and what he had done finally dawned on me, Vegeta must have noticed too as he pushed himself off me and walked away. I was left there very confused but at the same time slightly turned on. He had pressed this button inside of me and it just struck me, I couldn't control myself as he attacked my mouth. I craved for more of his touch but at the same time I didn't want it. I didn't want to lose control again, I covered my mouth with my hand and finally stood up. I needed to talk to Bulma, now.

I frowned, that's right she was shopping with Chi Chi, I guess I'd have to wait until she got back. I looked over at Vegeta who grabbed a drink from the fridge and smirked at me as if nothing had happened, he stood there shirtless and I gaped at him.  
"What is it baka, like what I did back there? Don't get any ideas it was a mistake." He warned me and I looked down at my feet as he walked out of the room.

God I hated that he had to be so high and royal all the time, it pissed me off. He was always so calm and collected, why couldn't I be like that? Why couldn't I tease him, why did my knees get weak whenever I saw him, why did my heart flutter when he smirked at me? I asked myself all these questions although I knew the answer, I feared the answer. I was in love with the prince.

I could feel it, it had been getting stronger, but when had my obsession started? I can't tell, that annoyed me. I guess it had always been there but as the years passed it had become stronger until the point where I was shy in front of him. It didn't seem like it but when he talked to me my mind got all frazzled and I got confused. I was in love with the Prince, I was in love with the prince. I was in love with the prince, the more I thought it the more I realized I couldn't stop it.

I couldn't stop this affection, I couldn't stop this longing that I had for him. Now that he was this close it made me ache, I needed him. I needed him to hold me, to tell me everything was going to be alright, I needed him to love me like I loved him. I knew I couldn't have that though, it was a selfish thought. I had others to think about anyway and even though I wanted him I wouldn't stop being selfless. Anyway what would my friends think if they knew I loved another man let alone the prince.

They would shun me, but then again I wouldn't care as long as I had the prince. Bulma, on the other hand she wouldn't hate me, she had been my friend too long to just push me away. She would hate the prince though and I couldn't put him through that. I heard the door open pulling me from my thought and I was grateful, it didn't last long though as my wife stepped through the door. My tail fell from my waist and grazed the floor, it was so different now and I couldn't control the scents it gave of. I realized too late that it had given of a faint scent of loathing mixed with longing.

Damn, I would have to learn how to control those scents especially around Vegeta, Vegeta. Had he sensed my discomfort as he walked in the room, oh gods I hope he didn't. I put on a fake smile and walked over to Bulma and Chi Chi.  
"Hey, what'd ya buy?" I asked casually and Bulma eyed me suspiciously, I threw her a look that said 'we need to talk' and she nodded.

"Oh just the usual, perfume, food, clothes. Oh Goku I got you the cutest top ever." Chi Chi smiled and I smiled at her enthusiasm. She really was trying to make it work out between us. I looked at her as she pulled out a t-shirt that was black, I gulped at the red writing on it. Written in huge letters was 'Princes play thing'. I blushed as she passed it to me.  
"Thanks, Chi, but what's with the writing?" I asked and she looked at what it said.

"Oh silly me, I didn't see the sentence I just loved the writing style and colour." She told me and I chuckled nervously.  
"Well try it on." She smiled and I nodded taking of my loose blue t-shirt I wore now and replaced it with the black one. Vegeta chose that moment to come in and I looked at him, I could feel heat rising to my face as he looked at my shirt.  
"Nice shirt." Vegeta smirked.

"Isn't it just the cutest?" Chi laughed, I quickly replaced the top with my old one as the two girls went through their shopping.  
"So guys, how was your sparring session?" Bulma asked looking at a frilly dress she had bought. I felt my blush deepen and I looked away from her, she smiled at me and I feared she already know what happened. How I'm not sure, luckily Vegeta answered for me because I couldn't have I was at a loss for words.

"Fine, I beat Kakarott this time didn't I?" he looked at me and I nodded.  
"Haha, yeah he was really surprising today." I laughed trying to seem calm.  
"Aww Goku, it's OK if you get beaten once in a while." Chi smiled and hugged me, I stood there unsure what to do but then I returned the embrace softly.

"Well I have to be home, bye Vegeta, bye Bulma, goodbye Goku." She smiled grabbing her bags and leaving. I looked at Bulma and Vegeta walked out of the room.  
"What is it sweetie?" she asked and I sat down at the table.  
"Bulma, this is going to be really hard to say but ..." I gulped in a huge mouth of air and looked at the table uncomfortably.

"I know sweetie, you're in love with Vegeta." She smiled and I looked at her with wide eyes.  
"What? How did you know?" I asked looking around to check that the prince wasn't there, luckily he wasn't.  
"It's OK sweetie I can just tell." she told me and brought me into an embrace.  
"I know he doesn't love me back and it's tearing me apart." I told her my eyes becoming misty, no I wouldn't let anymore tears fall for that man.

"It hurt me knowing that he doesn't love me back." I told her and I could feel my chest tightening.  
"Aww honey you don't know that." She cooed and I nodded.  
"I do, he's a prince and I'm just a lousy low class warrior, he wouldn't love me even if I was worthy." I groaned knowing that it was true.  
"Goku, calm down why don't you just go outside and get some fresh air?" Bulma asked and I nodded.

I walked out and looked up into the sky, I took of into the sky trying to find my happy place. Only then would I calm down. I flew for about forty minutes and I finally landed in a forest near a small lake, this always calmed me down no matter what. I sat down and lay back on the grass staring up at the setting sun, it was summer and it was times like this where I learned to appreciate the world a lot more. I closed my eyes content and just lay there

Everything was just more beautiful when you take a step back from all the drama and admire the small things, like the sunset now. But all peaceful things can't last and as a shadow stood over me I opened my eyes. I almost had a heart attack and I sat up and glared at Vegeta.  
"I could have had a heart attack." I growled but he just stood there towering over me.

"I heard that you love me." He said in a soft voice and my eyes widened staring at my desire, my prince. How could he know?

**Ooh cliffy. :D well guys I wanted to update one last time before I left, I'll be gone for a couple of day so I wanted to update this. What will Vegeta do now that he knows, how will Goku react? Find out next chapter. Please review, Xynaa.**


	10. Trouble

"I heard you love me." Vegeta told me and I backed away my eyes widening.

"Wh-where did you heard that?" I asked nervously and rubbed the back of my head, Bulma wouldn't have told him ...would she? Oh god I felt so stupid, I couldn't tell him, I couldn't respond. I sat there looking up at him with a dumbfounded expression on my face, what could I say? I took a deep breath and Vegeta stood there resilient not backing down, a smirk crossed his face as I failed to answer gaping at him like a fish.

I looked at the ground and he stepped closer, I could feel my tail tense and I froze. The man I desired stood so close to me, close enough I could touch him and he knew I was in love with him. I was going to die, this man who was stronger than me now was about to rip my guts out and I couldn't stop him, he knew my weakness and I was at his mercy, completely. I looked up at him and prepared myself for what was going to happen.

"What if I do?" I whispered my bravery coming to now that I had accepted my fate.  
"Then I'd do this." The prince growled, I closed my eyes and I waited for the hit that was soon to come.  
I waited it seemed like forever. A gloved hand reached out and caressed my cheek, I squinted as he pulled back and hit me hard. I opened my eyes and a tear escaped from the pain.

"That's for not telling me, and this is for loving me." The prince muttered as he captured my lips with his, I sighed in relief and closed my eyes. I let him slip his hand through my hair and pull me roughly towards him more. I let out a grunt as he slipped his hand down to my waist. He pulled me up and I kneeled before him as he stood up fully, he was so short it was adorable.

I opened my eyes and looked at him as if seeing him for the first time. He smirked and I could feel heat rushing to my face as he stared, I can't believe he had done that.

"That shirt you tried on earlier looks good on you." He whispered his lips tracing my ear, I smiled and nodded.  
"I also love imagining you as my 'play thing'."he chuckled, I gulped my face going redder if that was possible.  
"You've imagined it?" I mumbled and he nodded cupping my chin.  
"Yes, and now I will make it reality." He snickered pulling me into another kiss.

"If this is all just about sex then ..." I couldn't finish the thought, if this was just for sex then I would break. I couldn't handle it if he your with me, if he loved me that was a different story, if he loved me I would bend to his will. If he did this jut for sex then I would not accept it. He looked at me with a look that I couldn't decipher, I frowned and looked down.

"Then what?" He asked and I looked up, did he really want me just for sex or was he just testing me?  
"Then I couldn't do it, I can't be used like that. You might give me pleasure but it would be at too big a cost. I couldn't it would tear me apart to know that you didn't feel the same way as I do." I told him and looked at the floor, it was true I wouldn't let him use my body.

"Then I'm glad that I'm not just doing this for pleasure, I feel the same way as you do." He smiled and pulled me into another kiss. I smiled and hugged him closer responding eagerly, he pressed me up against a tree and I made an oomph sound. He trailed his hands down my sides to the bottom of my shirt, I moaned when he lifted it over my head and he smirked.

"Feeling hot yet?" Vegeta whispered kissing down my neck, I nodded and gripped his hair. Gods was I turned on. He grabbed my crotch and I hissed in a breath, I felt a power level coming closer and I was way to far gone to stop.  
"Vegeta, someone's ..." I trailed of and he pulled his hand away.

"I know." He muttered as someone landed close by, who was it? I looked closer and my eyes widened as I stared into my sons shocked eyes. His gaze traveled to Vegeta who still had a hold of my shirt in one hand.  
"Dad?" My son asked and I gulped.  
"Gohan I ... What I mean to say is we ..." I stopped and looked at the floor ashamed.

"You and Vegeta are ... you're having an affair?!" Gohan yelled and I shook my head, it wasn't like that.  
"Gohan it's- it's not what you think. We've only just- this never happened when me and your mother were together I swear." I rambled on trying to get him to believe me, he had to.  
"I don't believe it." he spat and threw Vegeta a dirty look.

"This is why mum divorced you isn't it?" He inquired and I frowned trying my hardest to get him to believe me.  
"It's not I-"  
"Isn't it!" Gohan screamed tears streaming down his face.

"No Gohan it's not." I pleaded and he shook his head in denial.  
"Dad you're many things, you're caring you're happy you're easy-going, but I never thought you'd be a liar." He growled whispering the last part so I barely heard it.  
"What's the rest of the group gonna do when they find out you're gay?" He asked and raised an eyebrow.

I looked at him with my jaw open wide as I stared at him, I couldn't say anything. I wanted to but no words would come out. How could I communicate like this if I couldn't even talk back to my son?  
"They'll shun you, they'll dishonor you, they will hate you, you know what? I hope they do." Gohan barked.

"All these years I knew you didn't truly love our mother and seeing you now, I can tell I was right." He huffed and I growled.  
"Don't you dare say that, I loved your mother and I always will. She pushed me out, she wanted this not me." I shouted.

"I highly doubt it, you died and didn't come back to us for oh _seven years_ you didn't care about us. You didn't even ask if we were OK, how can you stand there and lie about loving me and my mother?" Gohan sneered, I closed my eyes and sighed.  
"Don't spout crap like that, your father loves everyone and it's not his fault he died. He was sacrificing himself to save us all." Vegeta who had been quiet the whole time pitched in.

"Oh mr prince of all saiyans has to be right because he's _always_ right. Ha it makes me sick, I hope you two have fun together coz no one else will want anything to do with you when I tell them you're in a relationship with my father." Gohan barked and jumped up into the sky. Neither me nor Vegeta made any move to stop him.

In fact I just stood there watching the sky as rain started to pour down from the heavens above, it was a fitting scene for this particular circumstance and I sighed sinking to my knees.

**Well here's another chapter, I'd love to know what you all think of this book so far so please review and tell me what you like or dislike about it all feedback is much appreciated. Xynaa**


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